I’m stuck. I can’t decide about what I want, what I can and can not have. I’m messing myself for people that are not even worth a bit of my effort. I’m in the middle of deciding, knowing that whatever I decide will hurt me eventually. But I still go for it. They say you’ll learn after making mistakes but my heart is too strong, too rebellious, too hard-headed to follow my mind.
And I miss him.
I got so confused. I don’t know what is actually going on. I can’t figure it out. Like everything has to turn against me, including his stone heart.
I woke up in the middle of the the night.
And I waited. Waited. And waited for something I don’t even know.
I was there, blended away.